letter.

Dear Marlen,

When I first scheduled college writing at orientation, I pictured it to be a boring English type of class with nothing but worksheets to do and structured essays to write. I dreaded writing the usual five-paragraph essay because it was such a chore to do in high school. Reflecting on my work over the semester, I realize that a five-paragraph essay is no longer in my vocabulary. I actually learned that there are many different ways to write a paper throughout the course of our reference book and reading materials. What I am trying to say is that this class broadened my knowledge about papers and writing techniques.
This college writing course helped me to formulate ideas and opinions openly. In high school, we never had an essay or paper where we could freely write whatever we wanted, and receive an A on it. While high school taught me the proper techniques, this college course taught me that there is freedom outside of the boundaries. Even though this course was just a general educational course, I got so much out of it, and actually looked at writing in a different way. As I said before, I thought of writing as a chore, and now it is more like creating art to me. Everyone likes talking/writing about themselves, so what better way to get inside our heads than to write about our inner feelings and stories.

I am a kind of person who likes to plan ahead of time, and I really liked using the five senses as guidelines. At first, when you told us we would have to write a ten-page paper for our final, I thought, “what on earth will it be about?” I didn’t have any doubts that I wouldn’t be able to do it, however, it was the amount of information supplied that I would have to worry about. I tend to stumble over too much information, and obviously too little information. What you had us write significantly helped my final paper just because it related to everything I did. I thought the final project was a perfect way to end the semester because not only did I write a paper for a grade, I wrote it for me and whoever else reads it later in life. Even by reading others’ autoethnographies, gave me more insight on what I wanted to write myself. Reading their papers helped me to write my own and formulate opinions.
As far as changing/keeping the content of the class, I would not change too much about it. You have showed all of us that anyone can be a good writer, and you also gave positive feedback on almost everything we did, but you weren’t afraid to tear things apart either. Since the course was college writing, I liked how we mainly focused on writing about ourselves and we learned things in the process. This class inspired me to write in more detail about anything I choose to write about from now often, whether in my journal or a major research paper. I feel as if I am ready to move on and excel in other classes that require a lot of writing because of this class. Writing a lot helped me prepare for bigger assignments, and I have no doubt that I will be able to do them.

Sincerely,
Olivia Stofko

What is I? rough draft #1

If I had to define everything about me on a piece of paper, it would be a different story each time I put words to the paper. It seems difficult to characterize myself because I am still growing up and I have a lot to learn, however after 18 years of being Olivia Stofko, I suppose I must have a story to tell. What, who, how am I? It may be better to ask, what is I?  My very first blog entry still holds true after 10 weeks of the semester, located in Appendix one.

“What lies beneath and what cannot be identified to others falls under the “What is I?” category. “What is I?” is only visible to the eyes of the beholder, and in saying that, every individual knows themselves best.”

 

The phrase, “Your past makes you, you” is true because the past influences who I am as a person. Everything I went through with the people I have grown up with affects who I am today. My past contains many stories and events that make up the memories I have of my childhood and youth; Memories that I can instantaneously recognize through one or more of my senses. If I had never met someone before and wanted them to know more about me, I would tell them to look around my room, read parts of my journal, wear my clothes, scroll through my iTunes library, chew my favorite gum or smell my perfume I put on everyday. Although there are five senses, I do believe that another sense is on the brink of making the five senses into six. Combining all of these senses with my stories and memories justifies the person I am today. 

“Different families have different ways of living and my family was definitely one of the hugging families. Physical touch is just as important as emotional touch and I think people who grew up with physical and emotional touch are more secure and trusting of others.” 

In Appendix five, I wrote about how touch can affect the affection in a household. Growing up in a household with two married parents and a younger sister, there was always enough love to go around. Ever since I was young I never had a reason to be violent or cruel because I grew up with an affectionate family. If we had visitors over, it was always my mom who hugged them goodbye instead of a casual wave. When I was a little girl I remember always giving my parents hugs because of the comfortable feeling I had when I was near them. I never remember a night that I neglected to give my parent’s goodnight hugs and kisses before bed. Anytime a thunderstorm would occur in the early hours of the morning, I remember rushing over to my parents’ room because that is where I felt the safest. Today, I am close to my family because of the content feeling I have when I am with them. If I had not grown up with all the hugs and affection, I think I would be different by trusting others less, being shy and having low self-esteem. Hugs and kisses signify happiness and security, which bonds my relationship with my family because I am trusted.

I have always had the same friends most of my life because I trust them and I know if I ever needed advice or help someone would always be there. On an emotional level, my friends have touched me in many ways with different stories and events. I can recall one time in which one of my friends has touched me in both ways that I will never forget. About three years ago on a dreary Monday in May, I heard the radio in the kitchen talking to itself about the bad weather and the condition of the roads. I could hear my mom’s muffled voice in the next room and after a short conversation she hung up the phone. She called my name and told me that we were going to a hospital for cancer patients and to hurry because she wanted to leave at that moment. I remember driving a good distance before we arrived at a large brick building with four white pillars at the top of some concrete stairs. Making our way through the hallways, which smelled of cleaning solution and medications, we were lead into a cramped room, which my best friends’ mom was in. Throughout the couple years we knew she had cancer, we never thought we would experience this day already. My best friend never cried about any of the hard times she faced as a kid, growing up with divorced parents and living with her mom who had different kinds of cancer. As soon as she saw me walk into the room, she took me out into the hallway and embraced me, sobbing heavily on my shoulder. She held on to me for what seemed like an hour and I could feel the fear and pain in her body which made me not want to let her go until it disappeared. At that point we were both crying so hard our shoulders were soaked with each other’s tears. Shortly after my visit with her, the beeps of the heart monitor in the room slowed down and eventually stopped. Just by being there for her really touched me on an emotional level because I had never been in such a situation. That night I realized how much she truly valued our friendship and who I was to her. I will never forget that moment she did not let go of me because it was one of the most emotional experiences I have ever had.

New and profound thoughts soared into my mind after her death; thoughts about how good people always go first, and not the old and mean ones. After realizing that statement was the wrong way to think about life, I immediately turned to loving my friends and family more, especially my mom because time goes faster than there seems to be enough living for it. As I write this, a song pops into my mind, which describes what I am thinking, Time by Pink Floyd.

“You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.”

 

Death has never scared me nor, have I allowed it to. Hollywood can make death seem evil or okay depending on the film produced. Dying is a haunting thought only because no one has had a first hand experience and lived to tell about it. Death is not a concept I anticipate, but I am awfully curious about the subject. Thinking about death is like thinking about outer space; not one person has the answers for these eerily interesting phenomenons. I sometimes wonder what my afterlife will be like, and immediately evaluate what I have contributed to the world. Growing up in a catholic church, there is no room for the words, “there is no heaven, there is no hell or there is no God.” I find religion to be fascinating and at the same time just stories that our ancestors have made up to become better people.  I am not exactly sure what I believe because there are a lot of questions unanswered. Ever since I heard in second grade that Noah’s Arc was just a story to demonstrate greed and disbelief, I have questioned my religion. Even if my beliefs are uncertain, I am still glad my parents made me go to church every Sunday because I now understand why I was forced to sit through those boring lectures. Church and Sunday school became a learning experience which I did not realize until I stopped going. Listening to the readings at 11:00 mass made me appreciate the morals in each story. Whether true or not, those stories came from people who knew right from wrong. In my opinion, many of the readings are solid foundations that have good stories and morals. Before I go labeling myself in a religion, I want to discover and learn more about other religions of the world first. I am not sure if I will ever come to a conclusion on what I believe and understand, however I am allowing myself to be open with new ideas and opinions on the subject.

“A season’s scent can affect personal memories an individual creates

which will allow the individual to remember seasons a certain way.”

 

In Appendix three, I focus on how seasons affect my memories each time they come around. My favorite time to go to church was definitely Christmas Eve when everything was so colorful and warm. The scent of the four Christmas trees at the front of the church enriched the aisle, alter and pews with their pine needle smell. As a kid, I remember always wanting to see the large nativity in the back with tiny candles lit all around it. The baby Jesus was not placed in the manger until Christmas day, but there was still a blue light that illuminated the rest of the scene. Anytime the word “nativity” is spoken, my mind immediately replays the image of my church’s nativity. Each year became easier to sit through the hour-long service at 7pm because as a kid, everything seems to take a long time. Today, I simply enjoy the fact that I can spend time with my family during a candlelit service on the greatest night of the year.

My strongest memories involve the holidays I experience from each season. I tend to measure life’s experiences in seasonal ways. I remember having a certain perfume that I had gotten two years ago on the checkout counter of one store I like to shop at, and the funny thing was that it was not an expensive perfume, nor did I need it for a special event. Picking up a regular perfume bottle turned into memories that have attached to me. Two years ago, around the same time I started wearing the perfume for winter, I met my boyfriend I still have today. Since I was going through a special time in my life, memories may be stronger than other times. Each time I smell that perfume in the store, my mind goes back to the time when I met him and the winter of 2005. I cannot recall of a specific memory I had when wearing this perfume except the fact that I was going through one of the best winters of my life. My black pea coat still smells of the perfume because it was the jacket I wore at the time. “Being able to easily identify seasons according to scents, and thinking about a certain scent in my head can be traced back to memories in those seasons. I have concluded that memories are the key to recognizing aroma because I will always be able to recognize a season’s scent. Scents keep my memory alive because I will always look back and remember the seasons, foods and people to associate scents with.”                        Not just aroma is needed to recognize specific memories, but I find that music is key in recognizing times in my life as well. I categorize music seasonally, because like I had mentioned before, I tend to measure my life by seasons. Certain songs can instantaneously take me back to a certain time in my life. Whenever I hear those slow songs by R.Kelly, Aaliyah or O-Town, I think of the awkward middle school dances and how I was too shy to ask anyone to dance with me. Songs from Smashmouth, Third Eye Blind and Matchbox Twenty remind me of past summers in the Poconos with my cousins. Ever since I started dating my boyfriend, it seems as if I have a collection of songs that remind me of him and each season we share. Looking through my music library, I could tell a story about any song or band because it is the people in my life who affect my memories of music. I could go on forever about the songs that remind me of certain people or places, but I am sure a lot of people experience similar feelings. In Appendix four, I talk about how effective music is to people.

“…Music can be heard one time and instantly captivates the person who is listening to the song.”

 

I like the fact if I hear a song once and I really enjoy it, I will listen to it all of the time. Most of my favorite songs come from those times when I first heard them on the radio, in a restaurant or on someone’s Myspace page. It sounds kind of lame, but some of my favorite songs and bands originated from those three places. There are different ways to listen to music by hearing the rhythm, instruments or lyrics first. Even if I do not listen to the lyrics the first time, I can always pick up on a good beat or rhythm that will become attached to me.  Whenever I first start to really like a song, I call it crushing on a song because it’s such a great feeling, similar to when I start crushing on someone new. By listening and viewing lyrics in songs, one can gain knowledge on others’ perspectives in life.  Anyone can interpret a song differently, it all accounts on the person’s perception. In Appendix two, I talk about how my perspectives can alter when I travel to different places, however my lifestyle does not.

 “I believe there are many perspectives in the places I travel to, and nothing has ever changed my lifestyle as far as going to certain places.”

 

Perception can be focused on the way I view interpretations of songs, places, and situations. Vision does not always have to involve the physical aspect of seeing objects; it can also involve the perspectives one experiences in life as well. Traveling to different towns, cities and states can have an impact on the way I view different places. Although I have never traveled overseas, I hear it is a memorable and cultural experience, which I am planning to attend someday. Even going over to my friends or family’s houses can give me a different perspective on life because it is a different routine than what I am accustomed to. In Appendix two, I describe how my perspectives can change according to the places I visit.

“As a little girl, I grew up with many close cousins on both sides of my parents’ family. I was always excited to see my cousins in Middletown, and my cousins in the Pocono’s. That was all I knew, and what I looked forward to. Little did I know, there was a bigger world out there than my bubble of close friends and family, and someday I would have to move away from everything I ever knew. At that time, a different world to me was traveling two hours to the Pocono’s to see my cousins and putting myself in their lifestyle. Ever since I could remember, I was always interested to hear about their friends, stories and school. It really seemed as if it was a different world to me because I did not have friends in other schools, nor did I know anyone from another school in my area.”

 

Views and judgments are produced when something different is brought upon one’s sight. That object, place or person that is considered different often has a negative affect on a person, and therefore may become a biased opinion. Middle and high School would be a prime example of accepting new behaviors and ideas into a culture of constant cliques and drama. I always had a tough time accepting who I was in those years, as did other people, however I always felt as if I had to mimic other people to figure out how I truly wanted to be perceived. Looking back on those rough years with odd wardrobes and mood swings, I realize that one thing never changed, and that was my friends’ views of me. Of course I changed friends over the years, but my friends never changed their opinions of me; they defined me the same way they always had, a silly, indecisive, completely original and sweet person.  Knowing my friends’ and family’s perspectives of who I was to them, eventually advanced me to analyze who I was to myself. In Appendix six I question my thoughts on what other people see when they meet me.

“Would this question be easier if I listened to other people talk about me, in a good or bad way? I don’t think that matters as much as the views I have of myself, which some are still unknown due to the fact that I am young and still trying to define myself and who I am. It is true some people know themselves inside and out, telling everyone they meet who they are.”

 

Using the five senses, could one know the all of the essentials about another person? My answer is no, because underlying the senses of touch, taste, smell, hearing and vision, I believe there is a sixth sense. It is not enough to buy the same clothes, listen to the same music, or smell like another person to achieve a better understanding of their life. What about how they react and behave in situations? One person may have a different interpretation on how behavior should be conducted than another person does. In my eyes, I am a friendly, outgoing individual with an optimistic approach on life, however I have been described as shy, kind, goody two shoes, and silly. My friends would describe me differently than my family would, because I know I act in a different manner around certain people. Upon first meeting someone, I always try to be nice and respectable so that the person will think of me in a good way. First impressions are fun because I can be anyone I want to be. In part of the song Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve, the lyrics say “…I’m a million different people from one day to the next.” I think that set of lyrics is a great way to state how I feel when I am around anyone, stranger or friend. I even act different around certain friends because it depends on how I relate and interact with them. Some friends are for crazy times, while others are for coffee and listening to music times. I think that once I make a friend, I have a consistent attitude, but I know my attitude is slightly different with each person I talk to. Inside my sixth sense I analyze how I interact with people and why I do so. There have been times when I cannot explain why I said something or the way that I acted, however it is all a part of being me and I learn new things about myself everyday. 

I believe the sixth sense should be the manner in which one conducts him or her-self and their associated behaviors, and in Appendix one, I explain a foundation for the sixth sense.

“Every individual human being has opinions, facts, stories and dreams. I believe people should take more pride in what they believe and find out who they are meant to be. “What is I?” goes far beyond physical appearances, social interactions and expectations. A person alone knows themselves best, and it is completely necessary to become the person that he or she is destined to be, with their own expectations and views upon themselves.”

 

As stated above, the prompted question, “What is I?” goes beyond physical appearances, social interactions and expectations. If I were to describe what the sixth sense is to me, I would simply define it as the behavior in individuals, as well as the perspective of another person’s behavior. It is true that as a person, I should know and understand myself best, however I do not and may never will. Some people may distinguish who they make themselves out to be, but I believe that as human beings, we grow and learn according to life’s experiences. It is still hard for me to view myself from other people’s perspectives, however after a recent experience called college, I know that people in IUP probably do not know me as well as anyone I know at home. The question is, does time have an affect on how long it takes to know or trust someone? I think the answer is partially yes, because the people at home have been through many experiences with me in the past 18 years, as opposed to knowing me only 18 weeks from school. I also think the answer could be no because the people I am with at college turn into friends, who eventually turn into family because they are always there. If the definition of family means they have to be trusting, supportive, loving and present most times, then I could place my friends at college into that category. Whatever the way we perceive others and ourselves, I believe I do not have everything figured out yet and I don’t think I want my life to be laid out for me. My life is messy, un-perfect, indecisive and chaotic, but uncover the everyday hassles and stress, there would be no challenges to further benefit from the experiences I endure.

If the reader who is currently reflecting upon my writing at this time still does not have a clue as to who I am, that is okay. I am not out to tell everyone about the foods I hate or like, the kinds of people I hang out with, or the sports I didn’t play, but rather my inner thoughts on experiences that create memories specifically for me. I judge that a person can learn from experience and recall what they have learned through a memory. “What is I?” are memories; memories that appear in personal reflections I write to find more about who I am. The past has vanished like loved ones who have passed and can no longer be seen, however memories keep my mind alive and full of aspiring ideas, opinions and life-long goals. Reflecting on the past several weeks of the semester, I continue to refer to my first blog entry in Appendix one, which still holds true to my answer on “What is I?”

“…because the mind gives a person the personal license to be themselves.”

input.

I am thinking I will structure my paper more by using lyrics from different songs that has to do with what I am writing. I only have one part of a song in my essay, but I would like to include more. So far, I think my paper flows okay, each story is leading to another topic which then leads to another story so I hope I am doing it right. I think I need more input on how I am staying on topic because each time I write something I find myself thinking, is this what is I? Hopefully I am taking my paper in a good direction, but any advice/hints/tips are greatly appreciated! ☺

what is I…part 1.(5pgs)

If I had to define everything about me on a piece of paper, it would be a different story each time I wrote it. It seems difficult to characterize myself because I am still growing up and I have a lot to learn, however after 18 years of being Olivia Stofko, I suppose I must have a story to tell. What, who, how am I? It may be better to ask, what is I? The phrase, “Your past makes you, you” is true because the past influences who I am as a person. Everything I went through with the people I have grown up with affects who I am today. My past contains many stories and events that make up the memories I have of my childhood and youth. If I had never met someone before and wanted them to know more about me, I would tell them to look around my room, read parts of my journal, wear my clothes, scroll through my iTunes library, chew my favorite gum or smell my perfume I put on everyday. A good place to start in finding more about my life would be to read my journal because it is a device that reflects my past. Combining all five senses together would not be sufficient in finding out who I, Olivia Stofko, truly am. Although there are five senses, I do believe that another sense is on the brink of making the five senses into six.
Growing up in a household with two married parents and a younger sister, there was always enough love to go around. If we had visitors over, it was always my mom who hugged them goodbye instead of a casual wave. When I was a little girl I remember loving to cuddle with my mom or dad because of the secure feeling I had when I was with them. Anytime a thunderstorm would occur in the early hours of the morning, I remember rushing over to my parents’ room because that is where I felt the safest. Today, I am close to my family because of the content feeling I have when I am with them. I know I can always depend on them to help me during good and bad situations.

Family is one of my top priorities, along with school, relationships and friends. I often receive compliments about how much I am like my mother everyday, or the fact that I have my father’s motive to achieve all that I can. I have been told that my friends and family have a major impact on my life, which is mostly a good thing. I am one to pick up different sorts of lingo, styles and opinions from my friends. I like having different sorts of friends because they give me the chance to view different opinions on life. The more assessment I receive from people impacts me to form opinions of my own and create a complex knowledge of different ideas and judgments.
Using the five senses, could one know everything there is to know about another person? My answer is no, because underlying the senses of touch, taste, smell, hearing and vision, I believe there is a sixth sense. It is not enough to buy the same clothes, listen to the same music, or smell like another person to achieve a better understanding of their life. What about how they react and behave in situations? One person may have a different interpretation on how behavior should be conducted than another person does. In my eyes, I am a friendly, outgoing individual with an optimistic approach on life, however I have been described as shy, kind, goody two shoes, and silly. My friends would describe me differently than my family would, because I know I act in a different manner around certain people. Upon first meeting someone, I always try to be nice and respectable so that the person will think of me in a good way. First impressions are fun because I can be anyone I want to be. I always wanted to be one of those kids who moved around the country because of the opportunity to meet many new people from different schools. In part of the song Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve, the lyrics say “…I’m a million different people from one day to the next.” I think that set of lyrics is a great way to state how I feel when I am around anyone, stranger or friend. I even act different around certain friends because it depends on how I relate and interact with them. Some friends are for crazy times, while others are for coffee and listening to music times. I think that once I make a friend, I have a consistent attitude, but I know my attitude is slightly different with each person I talk to. Inside my sixth sense I analyze how I interact with people and why I do so. There have been times when I cannot explain why I said something or the way that I acted, however it is all a part of being me and I accept the fact I am who I am.
I have never experienced a traumatic event in my life to make me appreciate everything I have. Reading other people’s stories about how they have overcome something tragic in their life made me realize that I have nothing interesting to write about if I was to ever publish a novel. The closest story I have to a tragic event was when my best friends’ mom died three years ago. It was a dreary Monday in May and the radio in the kitchen was talking to itself about the bad weather and the condition of the roads. I could hear my mom’s muffled voice in the next room and after a short conversation she hung up the phone. She called my name and told me that we were going to a hospital for cancer patients and to hurry because she wanted to leave at that moment. I remember driving a good distance before we arrived at a large brick building with four white pillars at the top of the concrete stairs. Making our way through the hallways, which smelled of cleaning solution and medications, we were lead into a cramped room, which my best friends’ mom was in. Throughout the couple years we knew she had cancer, we never thought we would experience this day already. My best friend never cried about any of the hard times she faced as a kid, growing up with divorced parents and living with her mom who had cancer. As soon as she saw me walk into the room, she took me out into the hallway and embraced me, sobbing heavily on my shoulder, which in turn, made me cry as well. At that moment I realized how much she truly valued our friendship and who I was to her. Shortly after my visit with her, the beeps of the heart monitor slowed down and eventually stopped. I know my best friend did not like me for the clothes I wore, the music I listened to or the cliques I was in, she liked me for who I was and how I understood her. I will never forget that moment she did not let go of me because it was one of the most emotional experiences I have ever had.
New and profound thoughts soared into my mind after her death, thoughts about how good people always go first, and not the old and mean ones. After realizing that statement was the wrong way to think about life, I immediately turned to loving my friends and family more, especially my mom because time goes faster than there seems to be enough for it. Death has never scared me nor, have I allowed it to. Hollywood can make death seem evil or okay depending on the film produced. Dying is a haunting thought only because no one has had a first hand experience and lived to tell about it. I sometimes wonder what my afterlife will be like, and immediately evaluate what I have done as a person. Growing up in a catholic church, there is no room for the words, “there is no heaven, there is no hell or there is no God.” I find religion to be fascinating and at the same time just stories that our ancestors have made up to become well rounded.  I am not exactly sure what I believe because there are a lot of questions unanswered. Even if my beliefs are uncertain, I am still glad my parents made me go to church every Sunday because I now understand why I was forced to sit through those boring lectures. Church and Sunday school became a learning experience which I did not realize until I stopped going. Listening to the readings at 11:00 mass made me appreciate the morals in each story. Whether true or not, those stories came from people who knew right from wrong. I now appreciate what the readings have to say because I don’t have to necessarily believe in the religion. By understanding the church’s readings, I can choose whether or not to believe what I want. I am not sure if I will ever come to a conclusion on what I believe and understand, however I am allowing myself to be open with new ideas and opinions on the subject. My favorite time to go to church was definitely Christmas Eve when everything was so colorful and warm. The scent of the four Christmas trees at the front of the church enriched the aisle, alter and pews. As a kid, I remember always wanting to see the large nativity in the back with tiny candles lit all around it. The baby Jesus was not placed in the manger until Christmas day, but there was still a blue light that illuminated the rest of the scene. Anytime the word “nativity” is spoken, my mind immediately replays the image of my church’s nativity. Each year became easier to sit through the hour-long service at 7pm because as a kid, everything seems to take a long time. Today, I simply enjoy the fact that I can spend time with my family during a candlelit service on the greatest night of the year.
As a kid, everything in life seemed simple and carefree. I remember playing barbies with my sister and cousin, collecting beanie babies, going to fun forts and not worrying about the amount of candy I consumed. After the calamity of middle school, everything went from being carefree to caring about what everyone thought of me. I don’t think I was quite affected by the tweenage drama because of my other best friend, Emily. Emily and I were fortunate to have every single class of our three years of middle school together. Our mothers met when we were 11 and 13 months, and since then, we have always been the best of friends. Throughout the awkward middle school years, she helped me feel less self-conscious about myself. Even though the “popular” girls paid no attention to us, it did not matter because we had each other’s company along with a few close friends.

what is i? part 2

What is I? One could define more of a better definition by saying, who am I, how am I, or what am I? What is I is the verb tense of the phrases listed above. I am a girl, I am a student, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a girlfriend, a blonde. I can be all of those things but how can I define myself? It is hard to analyze myself through my own perspective. It can be easier to listen to someone else talk about other people, but do I really know them? Would this question be easier if I listened to other people talk about me, in a good or bad way? I don’t think that matters as much as the views i have of myself, which some are still unknown due to the fact that I am young and still trying to define myself and who I am. It is true some people know themselves inside and out, telling everyone they meet who they are.

1. I have learned about the sense of sight or the idea of vision by understanding that seeing isn’t always believing. Eyes are the most judgemental sense, but can also be the most helpful in certain situations. Sight is important to me, but I know I could do without it.

 2. The sense of smell says memories to me. A couple of times a day I can sometimes smell something that instantly reminds me of a place or time I have been through. Today was walking in the bio hallways and smelling lunch from my middle school cafeteria for some reason.

3. My favorite taste is hard to explain. I dont think I really own a favorite taste but I do know of many flavors I like. My least favorite taste is probably lemon, or banana. I really hate the banana flavor just because it doesn’t appeal to me, however mixing strawberries with it in a smoothie create a delicious blend that are one of my favorite tastes. Banana bread is also one of my favorite things to eat, although I really really really hate bananas.

4. Being touched to me can mean a variety of different things. Touching someone can be either physical or emotional. Watching sappy movies, reading hallmark cards, or hearing an inspirational story can be emotionally touching. Physical touch can be either good or bad, pain or love.

5. I can hear all of the 25 students in the classrooms 250 fingers typing on keyboards trying to write something for this blog. I can also hear a fan or some sort of a heater…most likely a fan. Someone clearing their throat, someone coughing, someone’s chair creeking, the muffled tone of a tv in the next room. We can probably all hear the same things but we interpret them differently.

6. I have surprised myself in this class this semester by being more creative in my writing. I even became more detailed in my journal because someday I’d like to look back on my journal and read it as if it were a book. I realized I like to write a lot now because it gives me a chance to express myself the way I chose to, and not someone else’s prompt telling me to.

7. If I could go back and change one of my essays it would be the essay about touch because it seemed so unstructured, more like a laundry list of many different ideas trying to get out on the paper at the same time. Some papers can do that, but mine however cannot. I wish I could be skilled at making an essay flow through the first time I write it because I hate having to write things over again after I finish.

8. One year from now, I think I may be blogging, but it’s hard to say because I care too much of what other people think of me. I will admit, I am scared of being judged, therefore I tend to limit what I write about. At home, it is easier to write in a journal because I know nobody will probably read it, however more times than not, my writing seems to be better when I write in my journal.

9. If I were forced to lose one of my senses it would be the sense of taste. I know how much I enjoy food, but that is the one sense I wouldn’t miss nearly as much as any of the others. Then again, if I couldn’t taste anything, I could eat healthy everyday and potentially live a better life.  

10. I am content. I am content with my life right now, even if it is not perfect because I know it never will be. I know I must accept myself for who I am, and once I realize that to the fullest potential, I will always be content.

places of publication.

Indiana Gazette: The Indiana Gazette is the county of Indiana PA’s local newspaper. Since I never had a ‘local’ newspaper I think it would be cool to see one of my writings in our town’s newspaper. By having one of my papers published, it would give me the chance to have my name out and be recognized.

I honestly had difficulty in finding a website other than the Indiana Gazette to publish one of my papers. I thought of IUP’s newspaper, but I don’t think as many people would be interested unless I published it in the town’s newspaper. Maybe something will eventually come to me, but nothing but the Indiana Gazette has jumped out at me.

autoethnography

An autoethnography is defined as the study of the awareness of the self within a culture (Bennett). To understand the definition of autoethnography furthermore, I need to know what the term culture means as a whole. In Marshall Soules’ article, Notes Towards a Definition of Culture, he quotes E.B. Taylor on the definition of culture, “that complex whole which includes knowledge, belief, art, morals, law, customs, and many other capabilities and habits acquired by…[members] of society” (Soules).
An autoethnography is often an analysis of being an outsider or different. I have often wondered what others think of me, I do not necessarily live by it but I am often curious. An autoethnography can also be an attempt to see oneself as others may view them. In a group of people, most have the same views of a person or group of persons because of rumors, relationships and “the way they are.” It is hard to individually analyze ourselves as how other people see us. I feel as if I act different around certain people than others, however all of the people I know describe me pretty much the same way. Why is that? I think when people judge others it can leave marks on the people who are judged, therefore creating an image that does not even belong to them.
It is just as important to learn about my culture, as it is to learn about other cultures. When talking about America, I believe that culture can be found everywhere from towns to cities and entire states. It is wrong to say culture is found only within the country itself. In having different types of people from different cultures live in the United States, I believe that is what makes America well known. Since the topic of culture is so broad, I’d like to think of the United States as a big bowl of trail mix, where many kinds of foods are mixed together in unison.
Works Cited

Bennett, Susan. ” Autoethnography: Writing about the Self Analytically.” Susan
Bennett on Autoethnography. 07 Jul 2004. Humboldt State University. 30 Oct 2007 <http://www.humboldt.edu/~cpf/autoethnography.html>.

Soules, Marshall. “Notes Towards a Definiton of Culture.” 2002 29 Oct. 2007

http://www.mala.bc.ca/~soules/media112/culture.htm.

hearing essay

It is hard to describe what music exactly sounds like. Diane Ackerman states, “We listen with our bodies; it’s hard to keep our bodies still when we hear music” (Ackerman, 212). Music offers different perspectives on life by listening to what others wrote. There are different ways to listen to music focusing either on lyrics, rhythm, instruments, or just enjoying the whole product of the song.
It has been proven that it is easy to memorize verbal materials through songs than on paper. In the article, “Learning Lyrics: To sing or not to sing?” 36 university students were involved in an experiment about the easiest way to learn part of a song. Results showed that fewer words were recalled when they had to be spoken. The experiment also concluded that, “the results indicate that the text and the melody of a song have separate representations in memory” (Racette, Peretz). This study shows that singing can be used as a pneumonic device; therefore lyrics impact the ability to learn a song or information better. Lyrics in a song can also act as poetry. “Each word in a verbal phrase tells something all by itself; it has a history and nuances” (Ackerman, 205). It is hard to imagine artists such as Tupac, Biggie and Kanye West write poetry, however they all have multiple albums out that could be considered as poetry. Looking up the lyrics to some of these rap songs, I find they have stories and morals that go with them.
For multiple years, witness peers catch gunshots
Nobody cares, seen the politicians ban us
They’d rather see us locked in chains, please explain
why they can’t stand us, is there a way for me to change?
-Tupac, Thug’s Mansion
Many types of songs have a story or moral in them, meant to leave an impact on people. Above, the few quoted lines from Tupac’s Thug Mansion explain what he felt was unfair during his life and can be expressed in poetry form. Lyrics in songs are powerful to read and even more significant to hear because lyrics can put life into a different perspective; listening to other’s ideas and stories.
A catchy melody can leave one humming the tune all day, even if a clip or the song was played. The ability to remember what we hear is quite fascinating. Rhythm can take over the body in the fact of tapping toes or fingers and dancing. Expression through music usually involves dancing and movement of the body. “The odd thing about music is that we understand and respond to it without actually having to learn it” (Ackerman, 205). I agree with Diane Ackerman because unlike movies, which sometimes must be watched twice to understand, music can be heard one time and instantly captivates the person who is listening to the song.
There are many unique kinds of musical instruments that make up different parts of every song. Percussion, string, wind and electronic are several different types of instruments that are used in many songs, each having different sounds. Without instruments, a song cannot be produced. Instruments can be almost anything, including whistling, rubbing two stones together or hitting a rock. By listening to certain songs, one may be able to tell what key the instruments are playing in, or how many instruments are used in a song.
We all interpret something different when listening to music. By listening to lyrics, rhythm, instruments or the whole product of the song, people perceive each type of genre differently. Not all people like the same types of music, it is all what we make of it. While country music may have good stories, rap music may have a good beat and still classical music may captivate people with the wide use of instruments. That is the beauty of music, no one has the exact same songs on their iTunes player, or iPod for that matter. I do not just listen to music, I express myself through it and try to appreciate different types of genres. It is important to have an open mind when listening to music; depending on the people I’m with, I may interpret a song differently than when I’m by myself.

Works Cited

Racette, Amelie; Perez, Isabelle. “Learning Lyrics: To Sing or Not to Sing?.” Memory
and Cognition 35. Mar 2007 242-253. <http://indianapa.library.ingentaconnect.com/content/psocpubs/mrc/2007/00000035/00000002/art00005>.

Ackerman, Diane. A Natural History of the Senses. New York, Random House Inc.,
1990.

Tupac. Thug’s Mansion.

http://www.lyrics007.com/2%20Pac%20Lyrics/Thugz%20Mansion%20Lyrics.html

hearing test #2

The next song I heard made me think of summer. I’m not sure who sings it or what it is called again, but it’s funny how songs can take you back to a time in your life where you remember the people you were with, what was exciting at that time, and why you liked that song. This song was most likely on the radio since i’ve heard of it before, right before I probably got my ipod and stopped listening to the radio. This song is from like a pop genre and it’s very upbeat and happy. It’s almost impossible to feel sad when you listen to a song like that.

hearing test #1:

I’m not sure the title or singer of the song I listened to but it sounded like it was from maybe the 70′s era. I have definitely heard it at some point in my life, probably like a grocery store, or a department store in the mall. That song reminds me of one of my old friends I used to have who listened to a lot of classic rock and there was this one song by eddie money she loved. I’m not sure if the singer I heard was eddie money, but it just sounded like a song he or they sing.